Well, day 4 of NO MEDS. I spoke with my NP about it Tuesday and we decided they just weren't doing me any good right now. I've been on SSRIs and she now wants to starts a different type of drug, but I told her my head needs a rest.
The panic attacks are pretty frequent even without the meds, but they are more managable. I feel like I'm more in control of my own thoughts than I did on the SSRIs. Xanax doesn't help right now as it only makes me feel drunk, and I HATE that feeling (good news for my liver I suppose)
I'm not a therapist, but I think this all comes back to a control issue. I want to be in control of all things all the time. I want to control my thoughts, and how my body responds to things. I want to control this situation and I'm beginning to think God needs me to realize that I never have been and never will be in full control. But He is. Jesus take the wheel, I'm too drunk to drive right now.
