This mainly goes out to all of you so-called "normal" people. You know who you are (at least in my life). It also is addressed to the family or friends of all those who read this blog who for some reason think that people who deal with depression or anxiety, or WHATEVER it is they deal with are somehow damaged.
Some people come from horrific backgrounds or have suffered tragic losses. Those folks are often bruised, dinged, a little sad and a whole lot pissed. You may wonder why they can't just let it go??? You try living through it, then ask them that.
Now onto the families/friends of people like me who suffer from depression for who knows why. WE ARE NOT WEAK MINDED! If anything it's the opposite. Our minds are on overdrive all the time. Thoughts are like waterfalls and all we can do is hope the barrel we're in doesn't hit the rocks below and shatter. If we're lucky we'll hit smooth water until next drop-off. If one more person gives me a pitying sigh when share a triumph, or worse when I share a fear, I may just slap you. Might be the best therapy I get all week. Please stop treating me like my brain doesn't work well. It just doesn't work like yours. I get emotional, I feel other people's pain, I have fears and hang-ups I can't even begin to explain to myself, much less you. I don't WANT to be like this, I am working to control it, but my brain will NEVER work like yours does, and NEWS FLASH: I don't WANT it to. There is some crazy stuff that goes on in my head I'll grant you, but you will never have my imagination. You can't touch my ability to empathize with others, and you'll never know what it feels like be aware of every heartbeat. Don't pity me. I don't need your pity. If being understanding is too difficult, too annoying, or too dramatic for you, then I don't need YOU. Go be "normal" elsewhere. You bore me.
Huh. That sounded like a rant didn't it? Well, it's my blog and I'll rant if I want to.
Till next time, all my hyper-aware compatriots, be weird, laugh often, and know God loves the crazies too.
