Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Who I am

I know it's been quite a while since I've last posted, and I'd appologize for it, but I needed to distance myself from my own insanity for a while. I have been doing much better, but still deal with anxiety and the occasional attack. On the plus side, the depression has not reared its ugly head in months. I no longer take meds other than the occasional Xanax and I feel much clearer (more on that another time). I still see my counselor once a week and we've started to make some real progress. She tells me that therapy works best once your mind begins the trek back to healthy. Recently, she asked me to tell her who I am. She asked that once before, at the beginning of our sessions, and she was met with a blank stare. At the time my first thought had been "I'm crazy".

She asked again, I amazingly, I felt the answer. I'm writing it down so I when times get rough I don't forget.

I'm a child of the King
a friend of the Son
I am friendly to many
but have few friends (and I'm okay with that)
I am a wife who loves her husband,
even his mess
I am a mother who loves her kids,
but "mother" is not my occupation,
it's my joy
I am passionate,
but my passion changes with the wind
I am routinely disorganized
I love music. I love to listen to it, dance to it, pray to it
I am a dancer,
even if it's mainly in my mind
I am a writer,
even if not a word ever gets published
I'm not fixed yet
because as it turns out, I was never broken
I think out loud.
I love romance,
but own no pink
I have flaws, lots of them
My weakness are his strength
because I'm a child of the King