I think that everyone who gets married should be required to fill out a survey first. Just so we all realize what we are getting ourselves into. We'll call it the Oreo survey and in order for your marriage to work someone will have to be the hard, secure cookie and the other can be sweet and squishy and hold it all together. On the survey would be questions like: Are you a neat freak? Yes. Good, she's a slob, so you'll keep each other balanced. Are you good at math? No. Okay, that's fine, he is so you can spend and he'll balance the checkbook and confiscate your AmEx when necessary. Are you good with dates? No. No problem, she will remind you when your kids have birthdays and make sure you get to the dentist on time.
Wouldn't that be great. You could only marry a person if they proved to balance you out. The ying to their yang; the peanut butter to their jelly; the Clark Kent behind their Superman. Yeah. Right.
We marry who we love, regardless of the checklists and eHarmony-like surveys that will tell us we're compatible..unless of course you met on eHarmony, in which case you are I'm sure perfectly suited and compatible and deal with none of the below ;)
I married my wonderful, brilliant husband because he loves most of the things I do...plus he looks damn sexy in a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. But neither of us are neat, or organized, or excellent at all things math. He can create a budget, where the thought gives me hives, but neither of us excel at following one. We both cook, but we are also both prone to setting off smoke detectors because we've gotten to into MythBusters to remember the chicken in frying pan. I love my man, but he can't get his underwear into the hamper to save his life. The discarded boxers sit carelessly on the floor a full 6 inches from the entrance to the receptacle designed specifically for them. For my part, I can bust our grocery budget by $100 every month with two credit cards tied behind my back. It's a gift.
I have spent years stressing over the details that make us different from our parents or other couples we meet. "She's got three kids and still manages to blow dry her hair AND her car is Cheerio free! Why can't I do that?" "Their living room doesn't look Santa's workshop the day after Christmas...what kind of vacuum do they use??"
The "little things" break up couples and marriages every year. The little things that eventually, added together and put under the bunson burner of time and family, turn into big, scary, ugly things that people can't seem to dig out of.
But here's the thing: I didn't marry my husband because I knew from the moment I met him he'd keep an organized sock drawer. I didn't marry him because I felt after our first date he would be able to woo me with his Excel spreadsheet prowess. I married him because he loves what I love. He also loves me. And did I mention the glasses? So I am betting we will continue to be a bit messy, a tad unorganized, and about ten minutes late, but we'll be all those things for the next 50 to 60 years. So go ahead, baby, leave your underwear wherever you like, I'll forget to wash it anyway. Maybe someday we can get a maid.
....sniff, sniff...is something burning??
